Of Procrastination and Printscreens: Moodboard after reading updates..LATE :’) [list of 10 that gave me the most random emotions]

Moments when you receive ‘surprise’ replies or unexpected messages and read them late, give you a lot of smiles the time you read them (or frowns, you know ;) yet bring you back to the time it was sent to you, and give you more hints of regret that you should’ve opened your accounts earlier, even at least once a week. So after some time of being inactive again in my fashion online spaces, here’s a random moodboard. Weird list. That’s what compensating for procrastination maybe does? LOL! 

Here are ten of the updates—excluding my facebook that I haven’t opened for a year because I don’t know where to begin when I open it—that gave me the most random emotions. <THEY ARE IN RANDOM ORDER>

(Also includes some of the stuff I already read before [like last summer], but still read late [like it was given last February] Sigh I should stop procrastinating, seriously.) 

•  FanGirl mode: When the best fashion blogger in the world (for me and for some) replies to you..

I can’t explain how happy I was when I read this. I mean, I didn’t expect to get a reply from ate Camille! And now, I already met her twice (last Candy Style Awards and Bloggers United 3) She was the one I wrote the article “Not only a style icon, but also a role model” for. :”)

•  When a Lookbook friend that you want to be featured at Candy Style Files got featured already! Yey! :)

Ate Lovely Bulatao of Lovely-Vogue is at Candy Style Files! Yehey :D I remember messaging her because I really think she has what it takes to appear in one of Candy’s pages. She was hesitant at first but thankfully she was convinced later on. And now she’s featured, I can’t help but smile!!! Weeeee :) But what made me smile more, is she didn’t forget our convo pala. Her short message gave me a big grin. So sad, though, that I read her message which was sent last May, just now (July) :O

• When a blogger appreciates what you wrote about her even without you sending her a notice. Unexpected!

This is really OVERwhelming. (I love you, ate AnaGon!) She is not only one of the best style bloggers, but one of the kindest, realest (if that’s the correct superlative), and most down-to-earth bloggers everrrrrr. Of course I can’t exclude how kind she really is in my BU post :’)))

• When you receive invites to events and launchings of some brands you adore—and read them after the events were finished: FRUSTRATING.

I wasn’t able to recount how many “sayang’s” I said after reading these :( (to lovelies outside the Philippines, sayang is the tagalog word for regret)  

• When a very dear friend of yours sends you a Tumblr Ask—not to ask, but to tell you “I miss you.” in French :’)

Favorite ko to! :) TA from Renee :’D (The awesome person + awesome friend I was talking to here.) BBDear, I miss you!! I know you know it but yes, I will still say it. :c (Ugh Diliman took my friends away from me! Chos :o) Balik ka na dito LB :) Joke, I mean visit us hehe. At I hope magblog ka na ulit!!

• When you look at your Lookbook account after one year and be thankful for the people you didn’t expect to be there.

One year ago: (because I didn’t knew how to printscreen then, haha!)

…then..

One year in Lookbook taught me so many things, and caused me to meet so many stylish and kind people :’) Thanks to Candymag for being the way for me to discover this website! I will post about hints of my lookbook story next time :)

• When people appreciate your advise—and friendship, even not IRL and just online.

Two of the Lookbook comments in my profile months ago :’) I can’t help but smile when I realize that my advise, even in little things, make other people happy. These girls are just two of my Lookbook pals, and we learn together and exchange advises to each other. Shaynna—check her blog here!—is one of my closest Lookbook friends since last year. (And hopefully before 2013, we’ll meet in person! :) On the other hand, I met Bey recently this summer. (Welcome ulit, dear! Sobrang napangiti ako ng comment mo :))

• Unexpected E-mails.

“…Bored, I typed into google, I wrote something and I hate it. And your fashion blog came up. The post of what you hate. I also noticed your Philippians 4:13 at the top.

So I had a bit of a more lookie at your bio.

I don’t really know why I’m telling you this. I have so much to do. I am in year eleven, just turned sixteen, a girl growing up in Western Australia and am emailing you for some reason.

Sorry this is so random, but you sound kinda splendid.

I am fully in love with God. And randomly felt to pray for you. And I wanted to email you. Not so sure why. But anyway, I have wasted enough of your time now.

My name is …”

^When you receive a random e-mail from someone who lives at the other side of the planet, and prays for you :) Btw, this was a response to a post I didn’t think to be read by other people since it was a random, wordy, emotional, personal post supposedly put on my personal blog but found its way to my style blog. So it’s really unexpected, but I’m grateful for it. ..Dear ______, if you’ll read this, I am so thankful to God He led you to my blog to pray for me. I love, need and appreciate prayers sooo much. I hope you read my e-mail reply even if it was late!!!! :)

^When God gives you opportunities to learn and make a difference. Overwhelming *u* (Thaaaaaaaaaaank You, Lord!) This is a miracle, I passed my application at the last minute—literally. 11:59 PM of July 11 so, my answers were rushed :( But God really makes the impossible possible. :)

• When you suddenly had a convo with the very down-to-earth WonderWoman and almost met but didn’t [meet] yet: Bittersweet.

It all started when I retweeted one of WonderWoman’s tweets. She was really really nice. Also, it was my very first time to hear one of the bloggers I look up to tell me “…I hope I get to meet you someday…” OMG so I was jumping in front of the PC then! I know it’s just a tweet and not a lotto jackpot but, fangirls, you understand me, right?

To cut the story short, we ‘almost’ met last Bloggers United 3 :( But since, you know (if you read my BU post), I didn’t make it to the time between 2-5pm. Sayang. But I know I’ll meet her soon. In God’s time :D

• When a late reply is sent (and the receiver reads it late, too) but still means a lot!

Ate angela is one of the friendliest persons you’ll meet in Tumblr! Visit her inspiring blog here!

• When you receive a Tumblr Ask reply via e-mail from Your Fashion Inspiration :D

Since I don’t open littlemisspinkeagle@yahoo.com that much, I just saw this and really, I can’t count my smiles then :) Iba pala talaga yung feeling pag yung blogger ang nagsabi sa reader na “I hope to meet you soon!” Parang baligtad dapat pero :”> Thanks, ate Nika. I love your blog, too! I mean, who doesn’t? :)

…Looking at these (as well as those I haven’t printscreened) I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I hope I will overcome procrastination soon.

A dreamer shouldn’t be a procrastinator. Yet a lot of dreamers are, and oh, I am one of them :O

By the way, before I end up oveeeer-talking again, God bless your week ahead loveliesss! Mine’s a truly busy one, and I think yours is, too. :) [We can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us! Philippians 4:13]

This was drafted last July 21, 2012

Fashion isn’t shallow, isn’t trivial, isn’t what you think.

I don’t know how to begin this, I have said this to a few friends before but I guess it’s about time to put it down on paper. Virtual paper, that is :))

I hope I can express it the way I want to. And I will do my best to put coherence. But I think I cannot. Forgive my redundance.

Fashion is one word that could mean different things, to different people. …just like any word.

To some it might seem trivial, useless, plain vanity, and whatever. But to others, it could have so much importance. It is noble, it is beyond what people usually think.

Thing is, we have different passions and interests; we have different opinions.

————-You can tell us, better are the people who just wear simple things, slippers, and just plain clothes because clothes don’t dictate who you are. Well, dearies, true. Clothes don’t define you wholly as a person, but it doesn’t make dressing up bad. But truth is, no one is necessarily “better than the other” between a simple person and a really-fashion-obsessed one. It’s just that we have different interests. You don’t necessarily have to be the same in the way you dress to be together. I have friends who prefer jeans-and-shirts on a daily basis, but we do get along. 

Truth is, in my case, I haven’t met a fashionista yet who criticizes people who prefer shorts/jeans + shirts/tanks + slippers; but I have already met ‘simple’ people who hate the beyond-the-norms and different styles, or in short fashion enthusiasts. Huhhhhh? There is no need for this. I mean,

• you can voice out your opinion, just for expression, but you can’t dictate what people would wear (there is a difference between advising and dictating, guys) except if you have authority (i.e., dress codes in school and places and events and affiliations, etcetera)
• you can also be annoyed. Your eyes, as human beings’ can be offended, but don’t hate. Because I met some people who want bloggers to die, or at least, want their clothes to be burned. C’mon, is this hate or crab mentality? 

————-Simplicity is subjective, too. (Credits to author Ptr. Ed Lapiz for this concept) In terms of fashion, what could people perceive as an overdressed outfit could just be underdressed to fashion enthusiasts. Fashion is subjective. Again, respetohan na lang kasi. When I wear somewhat corporate-or-MOA-ish outfit which I just find simple, people who don’t know me that much will ask me

“bakit ka nakaporma?/ why are you dressed up?” (because if they know me, like if they see me everyday ever since, they won’t ask me)

then I’ll tell “Haaaa??? Ang simple ko na nga ee./Whaaat? This is simple for me.”

They will answer, “Kung simple ka sa lagay na yan, ano tingin mo sakin, basura? / If you’re simple that way, then what do you think of us, garbage?”

Noooooo. I respect you guys, it’s just that we have different standards, and we can’t impose it to people. (Again, with the exception of authority at times :/ )

I don’t really get this. Friends should respect personalities. People are beyond clothing, go look at the soul. Hindi porket maarte, vain, eh hindi na friend-worthy, they can be the people you can rely on for a lifetime. 

————-A person who saves up for books, or other sensible things, doesn’t have the right to claim that, oh, I am better than those who are saving up for “materialistic” things such as clothes, or maybe dolls for others, or collectible toys. Different things make us happy. We have our different ways of expression, too. You can’t hate the persons who love the things you ignore. We’re not doing anything against you, right? Stop visiting the sites you find annoying, then. Stop roaming in lookbook and do your eyes a favor.

————-Fashion is not something to pursue just to solely seek attention (because fashionistas, admit it, we always faced that judgment) again, it is a PASSION, a hobby, a nature for some. And it’s definitely not a crime.

————-There is nothing wrong with being attached to clothes and vain things, so long as you don’t “worship it” or make it your Lord and you still put it in the right place; so long as you don’t sin because of it, i.e. having debts here and there because of your obsession to clothes, especially branded ones, or it makes you steal, or it makes you love material more than the people in your life (hello, this is freaking wrong but I think these are just rare cases); so long as you don’t feel bad about yourself because instead of fashion becoming an inspiration, it becomes an avenue for insecurities. So long as you are not stepping on anyone, go do and wear what you want. (Just like John Stewart Mill’s harm principle)

Of course there are limitations, but limitations themselves are subjective to each of us, and we have to respect others’ points, too. We can express our opinions. That’s good. But just advise, don’t impose.

————-Fashion, despite being senseless to others, well, to some of us, fashion is our favorite form of art. ”What to wear” is one of the artistic things to look forward to, everyday. You don’t have to wait for legit occassions, while of course it doesn’t mean you will wear gowns to classes, but you do get the point. And just like you, who have your own passions which we respect, we have our passions as well, and that includes fashion.

In short, when you tell a fashion enthusiast to stop dressing up, taking pictures of it, and blogging it—which is our platform of expression and inspiration for our love for style—or lookbooking it,

it’s like you question and stop a singer from vocalizing,

an athlete from training everyday,

a dancer from warming up,

a speaker from practicing speeches, and so on.

To us fashion enthusiasts, dressing up is not just kaartehan, it’s one of the steps closer to our dreams, because fashion is one of the fields we are serious about in the future. And fashion is an industry, too.

I don’t know if I expressed enough, but I think you get the point with the parallelism I used.

Wearing clothes is not just something that’s trivial. It doesn’t make us shallow. Of course whatever we put on our fashion blogs, these are fashion related, but it doesn’t make us limited. It’s just that we dedicate this to our love for fashion.

————-Go pursue your dreams and passions. Even if people tell you you’re “chaka” or whatever, or that you’re not suited for the field you want, go on.

I think when you remove one’s passion from a person, it’s like figurative torture. You don’t want that. No one wants that. So please, respect.

————————————————————————————————————

I guess it all boils down to one thing: respecting subjectivity. And harmless subjectivity keeps life from being boring. Art in everything—including fashion—keeps the world interesting.

………………………………………………………………………………….

Sigh. I think I have already released 20% of what I feel O.o As much as I want to continue, I don’t want this to be an incoherent novel again. LOL. Better keep it a novelette. Chos! Til next time. :) Hihi. These, are my opinions, my words, okay? I am not imposing them :) I respect if you disagree. I’d love to know what you think :) Don’t worry, again, I respect opinions :) Teehee. God bless, dearies!

(Source: fashournalist)

..last two hours of Bloggers United 3 :’)

Filled with people. Booths complete with adorable stuff. Inspiring bloggers here and there. Live music. Hosted styling games. Sounds of applause and clicks of cameras, I bet, were heard everywhere. Stylish. Interactive. FUN!!

That’s the scene, or just a glimpse of Bloggers United 3! Last Saturday :) I saw the blog entries of my favorite bloggers and also fellow candygirls’, and indeed, I saw the full-of-people-super-lively-ambience of the event. It was really unforgettable. 

But what’s left to a girl who got lost in Makati for not reviewing the address before leaving home (which is three hours away)? When my feet first stepped in the venue, I saw some booths being closed. Some few shoppers. Some of the bloggers I’m really looking forward to see—especially Miss Angeline Rodriguez of Wonder Woman Rises—were already gone due to other events, etc. Then I looked at my clock, and it ‘shouted’ 7PM to my eyes. Okay, I missed the peak of the event I’ve always been looking forward too O.o

BUT, you know what, dearies? NO REGRETS! NOT EVEN ONE BIT :) In the cab, I was like “OMG once I saw my favorite bloggers, this is ALL worth it. No regrets at all. No regrets! Even if our travel time+searching/inquiring time would be more than the time I’d spend there. Meeting them is more than enough! :)” Thankfully the driver was so patient in asking other people where the building is. And indeed, those last two hours of #BU3 were really memorable. I went home haaaaappy. Thanking GOD still for the opportunity! I met many, though not all, of the bloggers I look up to, and it made all the difference! That’s the primary reason why I went there anyway :’))

Anyway, here’s a bit of why we got lost. (but you might as well go on with the pictures below because I am a random talker :/) Hoho. So excited, I didn’t review the address before I left the house. I was preoccupied with two things…One, which is my main reason, was meeting the bloggers I look up to; and two, buying some of the cheapest yet cutest clothes or stuff from their closets :) (btw we didn’t search since 11am okay haha) Mom has appointment earlier so we met later in the afternoon. We were in Makati by 6. And, no driver/traffic enforcer/person we talked to know where the place is. O.o I actually don’t believe deep inside, but nevertheless I just kept praying. I told God to reserve (hihi) the stuff He wills for me. Haha. I prayed for a satchel, an envelope bag, bow accessories, and few pieces of clothes. Because we’re on a budget :) But then again, the important thing for me is to meet them face to face :”D Ugh, my fault that I did not look at the address again :(” I saw it last May in a quick, quick glance and you know my memory, which is always preoccupied with nostalgia, doesn’t easily remember, hoho. (except for moments to reminisce)

Anyway, so much for the blabber, here are the pictures! :D

 there, i first saw Kelly Medina of The Travelling Boots. He does the trend color blocking really well! (i hate that this shot is so blurry. sayang :’c)

 Miss Fashion Eggplant Sarah Tirona was really nice!

OMG, answered prayer! Finally, with the top fashion blogger-Laureen Uy! I remember how I said “I’m gonna see her again soon.” because I haven’t had a picture with her last Candy Style Awards due to the tons of fans around her :) 

 ate Patricia Prieto of Paradigma is sooooo gorgeous O.o I love her dress so much btw :)   Fashion Bandwagon lady Stephanie Dy is like a living doll :)

 because I’m such a fangirl!.. :) I have my Paris notebook with me and asked for autograph signs. Yey! :) Sadly, I have only asked five of them coz of time constraint and shopping “busy-ness” LOL (I took shots of the signs but I plan to upload them on a different post~ayan na naman ang next time :O sana matupad ko) I love this stolen shot btw. Mom loves taking stolen shots ever since O.o Haha

 with the hot, Wicked Ying!

 the beautiful Marj Sia. Sigh. If only I could hire her to be my make-up artist :)

saw Verniece and ate Vern again! >.< Yey, they’re two of the sweetest bloggers, i tell you:) the first time I met them made me teary-eyed hihi (last Candy Style Awards) these sisters are BEYOND AWESOME :) So talented, yet so down-to-earth. Btw, the woman behind is their Mom, now I know where they got their beauty :)

 Yey, good thing I saw her before she left! :) ate Krissy of Krissyfied! :) She was friendly too :’)

OMG my heart is screaming while this picture is taken. The superb bloggers behind Paradigma and It’s Camille Co! Have I told you that ate Camille Co is the best fashion blogger in the world? (in my opinion) :D oh yeah, I think I said that at least three times? Hihi. (btw I wrote about her here last year, because that’s how much impact she had in me :)

 with the stylish Cebuano blogger, ate Gizelle Faye of Vanilla Ice Cream! I am totally in love with her maxi skirt that I hoped it was included in her booth. Haha. And oh btw, Mom and I bought over ten pieces in her booth! They were sold for really low prices :D I’ll blog about all the stuff God reserved for me in a different post. Yey! :) (Thank you, Lord!)

 Anyway, of course my night wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t meet the three gorgeous ladies who I and hundreds of people owe this event to :) The founders! Who happened to be the friendliest bloggers I everrrrrr met so far! :D

I was really happy when I met ate Ana Gonzales! :) She was really one of the specific people I soo wanted to meet because I watched the video about the venue on her blog..I tweeted that OMG, i just watched the vid in miss Anagon’s blog sobrang friendly pala ni miss paxieness! Then she replied “hehe see you!”, and the fangirl in me was jumping in front of the computer last week. Haha. Yes, even that simple act makes me happy, dearies :)

Anyway, after the picture was taken, she chatted with us for a few minutes *weeee i got happier of course!* (oo na, dears, ganyan na kababaw ang kaligayahan ko, owki? teehee..) When she figured out that we’ve been lost in Makati and she figured out we’re from LB, she said “Sorry ah, naligaw kayo.” OMG i didn’t expect it, hihi, she was that nice. Of course I said it’s totally okay, (it’s all my fault by the way haha.) Yet I wish I also told her that meeting her and them makes it ALL WORTH IT :) But more than that,she even said “Thank you sa pagpunta niyo dito ha.” Awwww, those words, those words were echoing in my head even on the way home. Her concern and appreciation of the effort which I didn’t even expect to be noticed just touched my heart. (okay, sorry I’m too corny I know, but really, I. Mean. It. :’) Those few minutes of chatting with her made the night more worth it for me. I can’t wait to meet her again.

After that, I was so happy to meet the genius jack-of-all-trades yet so down-to-earth and friendly, ate Melai Entuna!! When I first approached her if I could take a picture, her first reaction was “Uy, girl! Sure” Haha, she’s that friendly to her readers :) It’s like, they’re not readers. It’s like they’re highschool classmates or something like that. :D she was the host of the event but sayang, I was late so I didn’t witness much. But indeed, she’s a good, good emcee that I wish I might be able to hire her as a host to one of my events.. *ehem, October* 

But anyway, her shop F-STOP is definitely worth stopping at! Look at the clothes behind us, dears. I got most of those, including the clothes in my hands (except for my Mommy’s jacket, teehee:)

And yes, I finally also met @Paxieness of Drowning Equilibriums! ate Aisa’s probably the jolliest blogger you will ever meet haha. I told her I was the one who tweeted that i watched their vid and became more excited when I saw how jolly she is. Haha. Her “ay tama!” in the vid is one of the echoing lines in my ear after watching it last week. I also remembered how she jumped in the first part. Haha! She’s such a fun person! BTW when I saw her, I also saw Mr. Paul the PR guy and Fashion Fangirl-Tracy Ayson but I dunno why I was too shy to ask them for a picture with them then.. O.o maybe next time hopefully..

 And with the two of them! Yeheeeeeeeeeeeeey :’) ate Pax said “With Ana din! tayong tatlo.” Then later we saw her so she said “Ana, sama ka, dali!” And thanks a lot for that, we had this picture :)

I forgot to have any outfit shot of what I wore O.o So here’s my outfit went I went home :) I changed my boots to my floral sneakers. Of course, still wearing my favorite black socks. And look what I am wearing, I didn’t change it, I just added something: that polka-dotted polo with a hoodie which I bought it at F-Stop’s booth! :) (excuse my bangag face LOL)

Anyway, here’s a sneak peek of what I bought. :) This is not even a half of what Mom and I shopped for a very low priceeeeee :”) Mostly from Vanilla Ice Cream and F-Stop :) GOD is sooo sweet to give these gifts ^-^

My sister! ;) a.k.a my Mom :) and bestfriend, cheerleader, confidant, etc., lahat na. (monster, too, when she’s angry HAHA but it’s okay :) Teehee we ate at KFC after. 

Indeed, though if Bloggers United was a cake, and I only got the chance to eat the leftover because I was so late, it still tasted so sweet. That means, the event in itself was sooooo much sweeter :) So sweet that I cannot wait for the next. Gonna save up for you now, BU4. haha!

And next time, I will finally meet all the inspiring bloggers I’m just seeing through the net but in person, not yet..especially WonderWoman, Kryz Uy (i saw her last CandyStyleAwards but, you know if you saw my post :o), Lissa Kahayon (and finally thank her for my Candygirl shirt! :”) David Guison, Artsy Fartsy Ava, Paul Jatayna, Cheyser Pedregosa, Jessa Ang, Bjorn Bedayo, THEAIDXPAREDES, ate Charlene Ajose, Joanna Ladrido, Crissey, Dominique, Valerie Chua and soooo many more :))

By then, I will also meet my fashion net-friends I haven’t met yet. Hello, Shayy Love (shayy miss na kita!) Celina Molina, fellow candygirls/lookbookers and all of you dearies :’)

And oh, next time, I will MEMORIZE THE ADDRESS OF THE VENUE BEFORE LEAVING ;)

(And plus next time, DaddyGod will give me more money for shopping Yey! sigh. *by faith* hihi)

That’s it for now :) SORRY I am never concise :/ teehee`. hope to see you at #BU4, lovely deariessssss <3

PS. Sigh I have so many things to post yet. So many drafts undone :( an dami ko nang next times diba? LOL (hay ano ba, I also want to post some stuff I am posting in my private personal blog here like the One-year-ago’s and years ago because I remember the dates and moments so vividly it bothers me a lot O.o)

(Source: fashournalist)

I don’t know where to begin.

I hate it that I always begin that way.

I hate it that I am always preoccupied. I hate it that I write and type, then I save it as draft because it is not done. Or I am not contented. 

I hate it that 90% of my life, I feel the urge, the need, and the the desire to blog, but I only get to blog 5% of those.

I hate it that I am such a procrastinator.

I hate it that I have soooooooooo many things I want to do but I don’t do things one at a time, leaving me getting things undone even more.

I hate how fast time is. I can never comprehend how fast time is. And my nostalgic self finds it hard to move on. I remember the things that happened a year, or two or even seven years ago. O.o I love it though, but it makes me unable to enjoy the present a hundred percent.

I hate it-how I spread myself too thin with so many plans, and dreams, and interests, and now, blogs. I want to have a single site where I can be random but right now I have seven different blogs. LOL. I fell in love with different templates. HAHA. I wish someday, and I know I WILL, learn how to make my own template :O 

I hate it that I have so many plans which are often undone. Oh, I also hate it that I am so very redundant, because I think I already said this above. LOL.

I hate it that I am kind of aware the “I hate it that” and “I hate it how” is like grammatically wrong but I kind of love how it sounds.

I hate it that my head, but mostly, my heart, has so much to write, SO MUCH, but I can’t let them all out. They’re too many.

I hate it that whenever I want to write about something, I write about something else. Oh believe me this almost always happens O.o I guess it’s a trickle down effect of my always-preoccupied mind. I will write about this, I need to release OMG, but wait, there are still A THOUSAND BRANCHES OF THOUGHTS which are left unwritten, oh no, got to write them first.

I hate it that I enjoy the present in the future, when it is already the past. 

I hate it that these are just 5%, or so, of what I hate now.

I hate it that I am never contented with what I write.

I hate it that I love writing, but I am afraid of it most times because I know my hand will ache a lot. And I am afraid my too-much-hard-on-myself eyes will hate what I’ll see after. Yet it is always those random ramblings I write which satisfy me the most, compared to my writings that I wrote with my “aware critical self” button turned on.

I hate it whenever my perfectionist self overcomes my spontaneous, incoherent self when it comes to writing and expressing my thoughts.

I hate it because I know most of the things I wrote here will be repeated in future different posts. Because I am that redundant. It feels like every sentence here is a post on its own, every sentence has invisible thousand sentences that follow them. Yet to be written. Or possibly, would never be written at all. Especially their writer is a victim of sloth. But I will try my best to free that writer. She needs to. Or if not, I’ll kill her. Get my [water]gun and shot the mirror. Kidding.

I hate it that I have so very many, several seeds, but my laziness hinders me from planting them all. Even just one at a time:(

I hate it that this post is not “appropriate” in my style blog, and should be in my personal, private blog (there I am again—I hate this struggle.) But I hate it whenever I feel this feeling. I hate it that I don’t get update this blog as much as I want to and as much as there are many outfit shots, reviews, photographs that are in line, stocked up in my documents, or in my DRAFTS :/ 

I hate it that my thoughts are faster than my speed of writing, some of them flying away too soon before I even catch them and put them into paper, or err, into one of my blogs.

I hate it that I hate myself at times. Or maybe oftentimes. LOL. But I love her, yet she hates me. LOL. I don’t know. My relationship status with myself maybe is “It’s complicated” I hope, one day, I will value myself the way I value my very bestfriends. Because I love them to bits. Because I’m never hard on them. Yet I’m always hard on myself.

I hate it that I have so many to love in my life, yet this is what I’m writing.

I hate it that no matter how much I write, it always feels there’s something more to write. That no matter how I express and release what I feel, words maybe just aren’t really enough. I hate it that I don’t express what I want to express the way I want them to. I hate it that I think better than the way I write.

I hate it that I am never concise. I hate it that even if I plan to write just a sentence, or a facebook comment, or whatever, it turns out to be either a novel or a novelette. It feels like every sentence I say is a start of a thousand more. And it feels like I said this before. Yes, above. Ugh, I am soooo redundant.

I hate it that before I write, I always find it hard to begin, yet when I start, I always find it hard to stop.

I hate it that I am so wordy. That I don’t know how to end this.

That even if there’s more to say, I hate it that I’d rather end it this way. <3

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[This blog is in danger of becoming a personal style blog. :/ I think it’s becoming more and more inevitable. But my personal blog, Nostalgia, is so filled with personal ramblings, virtual letters to old friends, insignificant thoughts, NOSTALGIC memories, and I don’t want to let it go. I dunno, let’s see in the future.]

I hate it that I’m so confused. (akala ko ba tinapos ko na itong post na to >.<)

I don’t know.

All I know is, I should dare to publish this, even though I feel it’s still undone, even though I feel it’s inappropriate for my styleblog, even though I’m not contented with it, instead of saving another draft..

PS. dearies, can you relate with my problems? LOL. By the way, I hope everyone’s excited for the next schoolyear! :) But as for me, I don’t feel it yet :( I’m excited for the incoming Bloggers United 3, though. :) Oh yeah, my first time! If you’re going there, see you! God bless, loves. =)

A persistent dream :)

I felt my outfit wasn’t as colorful as I used to. Haha but anyway, I love its comfort and style combo :) Laced, stripes and textures were be mixed and matched. 

Warning: 1. this is another photo-heavy post :O 2. Word-heavy too ;) You might want to scroll down fast to see the other outfit shots and don’t read this novel-like incoherent release of thoughts :)

Wore this last January 15, 2012 ..Sunday ..A year after January 15, 2011 (malamang haha) ..A year after I received my acceptance letter from my dream university: the Ateneo de Manila University. Read my status updates when I was fourth year high school and you’ll see how set my mind was in studying at the Ateneo! “Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam..Lux in Domino..I love you Ateneo” “I’m a proud Redeemian and an Atenean in the making” statuses and such..

However, January 15, 2012, I found myself taking the ACET again (for the transferees) Yep. To cut the story short, I didn’t end up in ADMU. Why? One word: money. Haha.

But on the other side of the coin, even though I started my first year in college with inner tantrums and sort of bitterness ‘coz I didn’t become a Blue Eagle, eventually I fell in love with UPLB. (yet I never gave up my Atenean dream. When I dream, I really really dream persistently haha) I have been truly thankful to God for bringing me in the beautiful UPLB for my first year in college, I always said that to myself for the past months. “Even if I had the chance last year to study in Ateneo immediately after I graduate, I’d still opt to study in UPLB for academic year 2011-2012. I can’t trade the memories and moreover, the acquaintances, the teachers that marked, and the friends I met in LB who I wouldn’t know if I didn’t study here.” I was really reiterating those lines to myself. But take note of the word first year in college. Read between the lines, and you’ll notice the little but persistent intention I had about spending my next years in college at AdMU. Little ‘coz I know it would be hugely difficult to transfer so I opened myself to the option of finishing my studies in UP. (but let everything be done according to God’s will) Indeed, I don’t know why I really never dropped my dream back in highschool. My persuasive speech for spcm 1 was about Ateneo, how’s that? I’m in love. You can’t blame me. Char.

(Note: I just want to clear that I have nothing against with UP as a whole. I truly admire this premier university of the Philippines. Who wouldn’t? Also, my Dad’s from UP Diliman so I can’t hate UP as a whole and I won’t ever do that. And again, I already said that UPLB has a special place in my heart because of the memories, and the people that made an impact. I just really dream of Ateneo and I can’t answer why here coz I will write a novel. Personal preferences, respect that. :)

Open to the option of not being able to transfer, this is what I told myself: I don’t know when, it might be next year, or it might be after the next three years, but all I know is, one day, I’ll be with you. AdMU.

One day I will wake up and finally be able to call myself a true-blue eagle. 

But fast forward, to cut the story short, Mom said I just ‘wasted’ my bucks in taking another ACET ‘coz I just took it but the deadline of submission of requirements passed without me passing any of the following: TCG, Good moral, recommendations, essay and all other files needed. My lack of time management added to the busiest-days-ever last February to March left me unable to do all the rigorous tasks in completing the application. Okay laugh at me now. Haha. I was disappointed ‘coz I thought I can know the result, just at least the result of the exam, even if I didn’t complete my application. But no. How can I be so excited this May with regards to the ACET if there is no result to look forward to because of my unwanted negligence!! Ugh. Okay. So the latter will take part in my dream “…or after the next three years” Okay, I just might take further studies in AdMU. But I also want to study Fashion Design at SoFA or FIP?  I really don’t know. But whatever God’s will is, I will follow. (Please, Lord, make me follow :) Anyway, seeing the pictures below and all the pics shot by Dad really make me not regret the money we spent in taking the exam which I later ‘unwantedly’ took for granted. Seriously :)

bag, Mom’s

striped top w/ lace, gift; sunnies, thrifted

dangling earrings, vente

shoes, Penshoppe

overused pencil cut skirt, SM Department Store

below are some pictures in remembrance of the exam :’)

^this was our sitting arrangement. Hmm, I found the ACET for transferees not as hard as the ACET for freshmen (which I found a little harder than the UPCAT 2011. I don’t want issues, opinion lang ha) If you took ACET 2011 for freshmen and ACET 2012 for transferees as well, do you agree? ^_^ 

 btw here’s is my test permit. Aww. Bachelor in Fine Arts in Information Design!! OMG O.o (anyway last year the course I took was AB Communication :)  maybe i’m not really for Ateneo, (if you read the last paragraph of what I wrote in the first part of this post, you know why ) well.. not for NOW :] I’m enjoying my stay in UPLB and loving every bit of it, but I am not giving up on my Atenean dream ;)  One day, I’ll come back for you, Ey Di Em Yu :)

So that was another post. Whew. Sorry for too much words. I know I’m not in my personal blog O.o but I don’t know why I can’t keep my fingers from typing. Especially May’s already coming. Okay.. anyway, in case you read every single word above thank you so much for bearing all my release of thoughts haha.

God bless and stay stylish!

Lotsa love, 

Graceeeeeee

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

^PS hype my look in lookbook here.

I’m back ! ^_^

^Just a vain picture ‘coz I missed blogging. Hoho XD

Been too busy lately..

Sigh. My last post was November..26! 

But anyhow, I’m back now.

I pray for time management so I can update my internet life everyday despite of all the duties a college student has to do. Haha!

..now, I’m about to post..

Yeah..make the most of the freedom vacation has to offer! 

I’m so tired of saying to myself, “I’ll blog about this..pag may time na ako.” almost everyday. Question, when will really “time” come to me? Hoho x)

Naalala ko tuloy yung sinabi ng isa kong academic inspiration na si ate Diane Reyes, (I remembered what one of my academic inspirations, Ate Diane Reyes said,) “If you really want to do something, you don’t just find time to do it; you MAKE time for it.”

Anyway, THANK YOU TO MY FIRST FEW FOLLOWERS..followed you back! AND THANKS ALSO TO THE FIRST FEW PEOPLE WHO JOINED THIS SIT VIA GOOGLE FRIEND CONNECT. Super appreciated..hihi..

That’s one of the things I’m looking forward to blogging—it’s not only blogging itself, but gaining friends along the way which makes the blog journey more worthwhile.

God bless and stay stylish everyone!

Lotsa Love,

Graceeeeeeeeeeee